Dumbass Sayings: “Thank You For Having Me”

When everyone’s going home after the big March Madness viewing party/fondue dip/LSD orgy you hosted sometimes people will say “Thank you for having me!” I had them? At when? Hello? No, this is just a weird thing to say to anyone who isn’t your parents. Your parents had you and you should be thanking them for that. When was the last time anyone said “Thanks for having me” to their mother or her vagina? Why is this a term reserved for party and dinner hosts? And if you’re going to say this to a host then say “Thank you for having me over” or “Thank you for dinner and the orgy.” If you really are thankful then you can be a little more specific about what you’re being thankful for. At Thanksgiving we don’t just say “Yeah I’m thankful” and that’s it. Part of being thankful is being a little elaborate to show how much what just happened means to you. If it’s worth giving thanks for, it’s worth actually saying out loud.

Thank you for having me and sorry about the C-section.