Dumbass Sayings: “Who’s A Good Boy?”

Sometimes when you’re out walking your dog, a random person will walk up and start shaking the dog’s head while saying “Who’s a good boy?! Who’s a good boy?! Who’s a good boy?!” Are you serious? I’ve got an even better question for you: why are you asking a dog a rhetorical question? Seriously think about this for a second. Why are you even saying “Who’s a good boy?” Do you think the dog is thinking “Oh, I must be the good boy…” The dog has no idea what you’re saying. Even if it did, why put this in the form of a question? Why not just say “You’re a good boy!”? Why isn’t that sufficient? I suppose because when you just walk up on a random dog you aren’t really sure if he’s a good boy or not. It’s generally as you’re fondling the dog and it seems to enjoy what you’re doing that it becomes apparent it’s a “good boy” and therefore you are safe to phrase your initial inquiry in a rhetorical tone. My advice: figure out if a dog is a good boy OR girl first, before massaging its face. Dogs are like little people and you don’t just walk up to a dwarf and start rubbing their belly. You politely ask them if it’s okay first, usually you’re met with a no because not ALL living beings you encounter on the sidewalk of life are good boys.

This son of a bitch knows damn well who the good boy is.