Ask McFartnuggets: “How Big Should Male Nipples Be?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Okay this is gonna be a weird question so I apologize in advance. I keep hearing people say that the average male nipple should be the size of a quarter but to me that seems too big! Mine are like the size a little bit bigger than Tic Tacs. Do I have really small nipples or something? I haven’t really cared about my nipple size until I read that but now I’m really worried. Is there male nipple augmentation surgery I can get? I’ve never heard of that but I think I might need it now! - Brian from Santa Fe, California

Dear Brian:
I think you’re getting your information a little confused. I’m pretty sure when they say a “quarter” that’s referring to the areola. That’s a very important distinction to make. The areola is like the plate you serve the nipple on. The nipple itself should not be anywhere near the diameter of a quarter. Even if you’re a woman with huge cans that would be too big. So yeah I don’t know if I would choose a “Tic tac” to describe it. I’m not too familiar with male nipples so I’m only going to go with what I’ve seen. I’d say normal male nipple size should be anywhere between like a hamster turd or a pencil eraser to a Tylenol liqui-gel. Hope that helps. And I’ve never heard of nipple jobs, but I’m sure those must be out there if you do feel uncomfortable with your teat size.

Anything smaller than a pancake should be okay.

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