Ask McFartnuggets: “How Do I Check My Dog For Prostate Cancer?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
My dog is about 40-years-old in dog years and I know that’s about the time when you’re supposed to go get your prostate checked. The problem is I don’t have a lot of money and my dog doesn’t have healthcare right now, THANKS OBAMA! So I was wondering what the best way to do a home prostate check on my dog would be? Is there anything special I have to do to make it less uncomfortable for my dog? Any tips and tricks you can give me would be appreciated thanks in advance! -- Todd from Oak Ridge, Tennessee

Dear Todd:
Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhh... You probably shouldn’t do that. Let a vet take care of that kind of stuff. I mean, can I stop you from putting your finger up your dog’s ass? I guess not. I’m just saying there probably won’t be much to gain from it for either of you. I could be wrong, that’s up to the both of you, but from a clinical perspective I’m saying it’s not the best idea. Also, depending on your dog’s breed, it may be too young for that to be an issue. If you’re that concerned with it and you really can’t go to a vet I would recommend practicing on willing humans first, that way you get an idea of what you’re looking for before you have to subject a dog to that type of intrusiveness. My guess is if you feel something larger than the size of a walnut then you’ve got a problem. If your dog trusts you it may let you put your finger up its ass, that doesn’t necesarily mean it’s the right thing to do.

Some dogs won't be very receptive to this procedure.

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