11.19.2015

Dumbass Sayings: “HBD”

These days when you want to wish someone a happy birthday you can just text them the letters “HBD.” Call me old fashioned, but this seems a little cheap. I don’t put too much stock in birthdays myself, but if you’re going to type HBD to someone why even bother typing anything at all? It’s almost patronizing. If you care enough to wish someone a happy birthday you buy them a gift. If you don’t have any money then you do something nice for them, either way those actions are accompanied with the phrase “happy birthday.” Now if you don’t care then you say nothing. The only reason phrases like “HBD” exist is because people who don’t really care feel obligated to say “happy birthday.” The thing is, it means nothing to you or the person that’s receiving it so you may as well save the bits of data and impulse of electricity it takes to transmit the message. It’s bad enough we only send birthday wishes through text, but you have to abbreviate it to an acronym too? If we’re going to try and make this as succinct and brief as possible why not just type “HB”? It’s “happy birthday” you don’t need to abbreviate birthday into BD. It’s just one compound word that can be represented by the letter B. I guess that’s where we draw the line today in society. HB would be too damn short. That’s just impersonal and discourteous. Three is a lucky number so throwing out the HBD is totally acceptable. It won’t be long until you can just make a short grunting noise that is interpreted as a birthday wish. What is happening to society?

If you're having a birthday party for someone you don't really care about just get them a cupcake with "HBD" written on the top.

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