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| Ass crabs aren't an urban legend. |
Dear McFartnuggets:
My asshole has been extraordinarily itchy lately and I recently learned my girlfriend has contracted crabs "from work." Yeah I don't know what that means either, but lately I've been too concerned about my buthole feeling like it's covered in invisible termites to really get into the details of her story just yet. I've never heard of anal lice before but is it possible to get a pubic lice infestation on your anus? -- Molly from San Antonio, Texas
Dear Molly:
Yes if you have a lot of anus hair this is definitely possible. The reason you don't hear about it that much is because it's an embarrassing condition that people are afraid to raise awareness for. Seeing as you're a woman and you mentioned a girlfriend I'm guessing she may have transmitted the crabs to you during one of your scissoring encounters. That's an excellent way to spread pube lice to someone even their anus. I would personally recommend a Brazilian wax to just clear the area. It's basically the equivalent of burning a forest down except the forest will grow back pretty fast. For added protection I suppose you could bleach your anus too sort of like scorching the earth. Any lice that can live through that probably deserve a home and your respect.
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