Dumbass Sayings: “Cover Your Mouth”

With flu season upon us and Enterovirus running rampant, you’re going to hear a lot of people telling others to “Cover their mouth” when they cough or sneeze. The mouth should be covered, but most people interpret this as “Cough into your hand.” Yeah go ahead and cough and sneeze your mucus and viruses directly into your hands so you can then spread the germs by touching things other people will then touch. Unless you’re an idiot you’re gonna want to cough or sneeze into the crook of your arm at a downward angle facing down and away from people. Better yet, just get down on the ground in a push-up position and cough and sneeze directly onto the ground. That way the bacteria and viruses spray directly onto the floor or ground and aren’t released into the air where they can float around and get into people’s noses. If you can’t do that then at least aim your head down to the ground and try not to get your disease mist on anything. Coughing and sneezing into your hands is goddamn stupid. People covering their mouths with their hands is why flu season exists to begin with. The sad thing is I think it’s because there’s no fun way to say “Cough straight down or in the crook of your arm.” A lot of people probably don’t even know what the hell the crook of an arm is. “Cover your mouth” just sounds so much easier. Then people use their hand to cover their mouth because that’s easier than lifting their whole arm up. Our laziness is what will be our demise.

Say what you want about how Arabs treat women, their flu seasons are remarkably tame.