Dumbass Sayings: “Smiling Adds Years To Your Life”

Chances are at one time or another you’ve heard some buffoon tell you that smiling adds five years onto your life or ten years or two years or some ridiculous amount of time. I don’t think any of this is actually proven by science. How could it be? Basically people just do studies and figure out who considers themselves “cheerful” and those people tend to live longer than people who hate their lives. That’s not exactly a shocker, and it doesn’t explicitly mean that smiling leads to a longer life. The truth of the matter is smiling stretches your skin and wears it out causing wrinkles. I think people make a mistake when they see a really old person smiling they think that person has lived longer because they’re smiling when in reality the person is twenty years younger than they look so they only appear as though they’ve lived a lot longer. Also, if you go around smiling all the time you’re going to end up smiling at strangers while making random eye contact. It’s really only a matter of time before someone will take that the wrong way and kill or severely injure you. Those types of incidents are not exactly conducive to a long life. If smiling really made you live longer why wouldn’t people tape their cheeks up before they go to sleep? I mean you’re basically wasting 6 to 9 hours a night not smiling. Think of all the bonus smile life you’re missing out on because of that. No, people don’t do that. Why? Because it’s bullshit.

This bitch is 23.