Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Isis and Ebola So Similar?”

One similarity between Isis and Ebola,
they're not graphic designers.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Isn’t it weird how similar Isis and Ebola are? They’re both deadly situations happening in Africa and the Middle East and people in America are afraid they’re going to come here if we don’t do something about it. If America had put more doctors on the ground in West Africa early on maybe the problem could have been contained and now it’s so out of hand there that all we can do is try to close our borders to travelers from Africa. Shouldn’t the same thing be done to prevent Isis from coming to America? In both cases there are people telling everyone to relax and that Isis and Ebola won’t be a danger to America, but they really have no proof on that they’re just being hopeful. Why are Isis and Ebola so similar? Could we use Ebola to defeat Isis? -- Teegan from Beaumont, Texas

Dear Teegan:

Yeah I guess. The problem is, both Ebola and Isis would never come straight from Africa or the Middle East. They have to come from other airports in Europe or wherever which makes it a little harder to keep them out. The main difference is you you can’t airstrike Ebola. It would be nice to defeat Isis with Ebola, but even though Isis people sweat a lot, they’re almost always covered from head to toe in black robes so there’s not a great chance for that to spread amongst them. Ironically enough, it’s our slutty American ways that the Middle Eastern people despise so much that may be our undoing thanks to Ebola. The other big difference is that there might one day be a vaccine for Ebola, but there will likely never be an end to Middle Eastern lunatics. It’s the sun. If you were walking around in robes in 100+ degree weather all the time with no football or hobbies you’d probably want to kill people too.

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