The Top 5 Worst Nicknames To Give Your Butthole

Try to be thoughtful
when naming your anus.

Just like people like to give nicknames to their genitals, these days they’re also giving nicknames to their buttholes. It’s a silly fad that will probably pass within a few years, but right now, naming your anus is like a talking to a Furby, everyone’s doing it. Now before you give your poophole a nickname that sticks, it’s important to avoid certain crappy nicknames that will be sure to stink. Here are the top 5 worst nicknames to give your butthole:

5. Crusty

No one would nickname their genitals “Drippy” so why would you nickname your butthole “Crusty”? The key to a nickname is to not focus on the negatives here. Plus, “Crusty” is generally a temporary condition. You want to assign a nickname that exhibits a bit of permanence.

4. Da Blast Zone

This is just a silly nickname. What does this even mean? Da Blast Zone? Your butthole isn’t a gangsta rapper and it’s not a gangsta crappa either.

3. Mt. Vesuvius

So you think because when you have burning diarrhea it feels like you’re spraying lava out of your ass, haha very funny… The problem is volcanos are mountains so unless you have a severely prolapsed anus this isn’t very accurate.

2. Hemorrhoid Hill

This is just wrong. Why would you give your butthole this nickname? What’s the matter with you? Oh right, you have an ridiculous abundance of hemorrhoids…

And the number one worst nickname to give your butthole is...

1. Ground Zero

After you’ve had too much Taco Bell you might consider using this nickname for your anus, but you have to remember that this is still very offensive to people who lost a loved one in the attacks of 9/11. No one should be associating that day with their ass no matter how shitty a day it was.

Ground Zero also refers to Hiroshima so unless your butthole is radioactive I would avoid using this name.