Dumbass Sayings: “After My Own Heart”

When someone sees a woman stumbling drunk in heels taking a dump on the sidewalk at midnight they usually say something like “Now there’s a woman after my own heart!” This saying really doesn’t make sense. Usually this is said to someone when you notice something peculiar about them that you share in common. You’re noticing something like they love nachos or suffer from alcoholism, so they’re not really going after your heart. They don’t like these things on purpose to get you to like them, they just happen to like this stuff. If anything, you’re going after their heart once you see you share something in common. This is another saying where the words don’t actually mean the shit you’re saying. To top it all off there’s an extra word thrown in there for no reason. You really don’t need the word “own” in there. You wouldn’t say “Hey someone ate my own lunch again!” When you say “my heart” people pretty much know what you mean by that. Adding “own” doesn’t help anyone. The only time you should say this is when you’re encountered by a family who has a dying child that needs a heart transplant and you’re a perfect blood match. Then those people are after your own heart, not someone else’s, YOUR OWN. Other than that, this is just a ridiculous saying that needs to stop.

This is why I'll never agree to a lie detector test.