What are you going to rename your baby?

Emma was the most popular baby name in 2008 for girls, and boys whose delusional parents are going to raise him as a girl. Emma is a decent girl's name because there's no male counterpart to it. If you name a girl Justine, Fredricka, or Marcusa that's just asking for trouble. Young girls can be very cruel when it comes to dropping the last vowel off your name and pretending like you're a man just because you got caught chopping wood at your family's ranch last winter.

You can name a girl ridiculous crap because she's probably going to grow up to become a stripper and change her name to something she likes better anyway. Even if she doesn't, being named "Condoleeza" ain't gonna stop her from reaching high levels of professional office. Meanwhile ask me how being named "Binkie" is helping me rise to the top of the Wal Mart corporate ladder. Haha just kidding, I don't work...

It's naming a boy that would be difficult because they come under the most scrutiny all throughout life. A guy will make fun of a guy because he's named "Pecker" but a woman will also make fun of a guy if he's named "Mary Ann" meanwhile no one's making fun of the woman named "Ted" you see what I'm saying?

Personally if a woman I impregnate ever falls into a coma somehow and is unable to have an abortion, I would take pleasure in naming a child. Actually come to think of it, it would be stressful, I might have to name him or her "To Be Decided Later..." Then when it gets to be old enough to know what name it wants it can make the choice itself. I'll take the kid down to the hall of records and we can stamp it in the record books: "Poopsicle McFartnuggets."

Here are my top 5 baby names:

5. Lardo (boy)
4. Papaya (girl)
3. Craphonso (boy)
2. Silence (girl)
1. Prog (either or, including an alien-hybrid child actually that would be most suitable)

This kid is going places. I can see it now, wait that's a flying goat and it's just another hallucination,

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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