Will KFC find itself in hot oil thanks to free grilled chicken?

As you must know by now, KFC (with the aid of Oprah) is now facing extinction. They allowed everyone who was interested, to print out coupons for up to four free meals. The meals include 2 pieces of their new "tantalizing" grilled chicken, two side dishes, and one biscuit. The question is: Why in Hades would they agree to do this?

The promotion is obviously very popular, but so popular that many KFC locations are having to turn people away and irritate them to the point of defaming their name in the eyes of the public (no one likes a company that writes coupons their chickens can cash). That's not even mentioning the financial toll this promotion must be taking. Break out your abacus and do the math:

As of right now there are approx. 306,376,058 people living in America. Let's say a third of them print out only two coupons. That's roughly 204,250,706 free meals being thrown out by Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Now let's assume that each meal is worth $3.99 to the company in profit. That gives you a total of $814,960,317 in lost revenue. KFC's 2007 reported revenue was $520.3 million according to their company overview.

Sure they might not be losing that much, in fact, it would be ridiculous to think they would because a real life company wouldn't be dumb enough to let that happen right? They must know that even if people don't enjoy eating chicken, there would still be vegan animal rights people printing coupons to get and give the free meals to charities and homeless people just to hurt KFC's bottom line. (Honestly I would think that a better way to fight back at animal cruelty than releasing a pen of raccoons in North Dakota.) Is that happening? I'd like to think so, but who knows... I wish people had made more noise about this and given their coupons to homeless folks, though I think that might count as coupon fraud.

Anyway, why would Kay Eff Sizzle do this? My thought is that the special software you have to install on your computer in order to print the coupons is a factor. There must be something in there that will infiltrate your computer, something that will be able to steal information and keep even more tabs on you. What does KFC need to do with our identities and information? Nothing... But who has more money than Yum! Brands? The government of course. And don't you think they would be brilliant and conniving enough to pull off a scam like this? They pay KFC to do the unthinkable, and in return strengthen the power that fattening fast junk food and the overlords of the nation have over us all. Either that or there's crack in the chicken to force people to come back...
Well this certainly took a rough turn somewhere down the line,

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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