5.09.2009

Did KFC screw us again?

Apparently KFC has reneged on their free grilled chicken deal, how convenient. This is total horse crap, you can't just offer a deal like this and then pull it out from under people's noses. I know Oprah is behind this, she's in cahoots with Yum! Brands and that godforsaken South African vagina that thinks we want their grilled chicken because it's delicious. We want it because you said it was for free you kuntclam! Now all these people have downloaded the coupon software and printed out their coupons for absolutely nothing. See I thought it was bad enough that they made us download their software for their disgusting grilled boned chicken, but then they took it one step further and didn't even go through with the offer getting what they want and not sacrificing a damn thing.

That kind of evil never even crossed my mind, and I have the capability of being extremely evil. That just goes to show you who you're dealing with. I hope from now on that anyone who printed out a coupon got their rain check form and submitted their address (even though that's what these rat bastards wanted to begin with obviously) and will go and take their chicken away from them for free. I wouldn't be surprised if people get flooded with KFC ads and promotions in their mail box at the least, the worst thing that could happen is they mail you a bomb disguised as a free chicken.

They knew they had to do something drastic, being one of the only fast food restaurants without a decent dollar menu and probably failing in this economy. I've had enough of this jerking around of the vulnerable public in this recession and we shouldn't take it from these purveyors of death and cancer anymore. You shouldn't listen to Oprah or anyone that appears on television for that matter, you should listen to yourself and do what you think is best for your clan of leashed babies.

I also noticed that during the Weekend Update segment on "Saturday Night Live," Seth Meyers made a joke about gay marriage in Maine and it being the best news in Maine since LL Bean started selling assless whateverthehells, the night before Bill Maher on "Real Time with Bill Maher" made a joke in his monologue about Maine's gay marriage, LL Bean, and assless khakis I believe, all I know is the word 'assless' was involved, it's pretty clear that SNL stole the joke from Maher, either that or it's a possible coincidence seeing as LL Bean's fruity crap comes from Maine and if you're talking gay it doesn't get gayer than assless pants, but then again, the fact that SNL's assless pants weren't khakis where as Bill Maher's were, is suspect at best.

Also, screw KFC and their Indian giving tactics, I know that's sort of a racist term, but screw that too! That's exactly what they did and we ought to shoot them in the heart with a bow & arrow or throw a hand axe at them that lands right into their chickeny forehead,

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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