5.04.2009

What kinds of animal milk are unsafe for human consumption?

Do you ever wonder why you never see someone jogging down the street squeezing a bottle of hippo milk into their mouths? I know I do, constantly. Why are we as humans limited to the drinking of certain animal milks? Cows, goats, and that's about it, that's all I can think of... How about flamingo milk? Don't you think that'd taste delicious? They eat a lot of berries, you might get tropical flavored milk. For whatever reason people don't enjoy variety in milk. There's chocolate milk, regular, then strawberry, sometimes banana, beyond that not even blueberry milk and God help us if I tried to sell someone cinnamon milk; meanwhile the thought brings tears to my eyes.

Top 5 Milks I Would Like To Sample:

5. Walrus
4. Chimpanzee
3. Giraffe
2. Dinosaur
1. Salma Hayek

Which mammal milks do you want to imbibe? Whale milk was on my list until I realized it would taste more like fish milk, if fishes produced milk. Fishes should make milk, then shark milk would be possible and I have to say that would sell the best out of all non cows/goat milks. This could catch on, wine tasting is fun, but only after everyone's drunkdancing with Sinbad and Phil Hartman to The Commodores.

"Here, try some lizard milk and here's a pail to vomit in just in case. Keep the pail in circulation ma'am, we've got a lot of people here and only one bucket," said me hosting my first milk tasting jamboree.

May you be able to take a dump in a public bathroom without someone trying to get into your stall,

-Binkie McFartnuggets

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