3.30.2014

Ask McFartnuggets: "Co-worker Caught Me Changing My Adult Diaper"

There's no shame in wearing a
"Maximum Absorbency Garment"
Dear McFartnuggets: I recently started wearing an adult diaper to help mitigate my incontinence issues and it had been working great until last Tuesday. Last Tuesday I shot one off at my desk by accident and had to gingerly walk to the bathroom to change myself. It was my first time changing my diaper at work so I forgot to lock the door. Next thing I know my coworker Ed popped the door open and saw me laying on the floor pouring talcum powder on my ass. Needless to say he screamed and ran out and that's all anyone around here can talk about. It's getting really out of hand and I feel incredibly ashamed. I'm not sure what to do or how to fix this situation. What would you do if you were me? -- Todd from Bridgeport, Connecticut


Dear Todd:
That sounds awful, you have my condolences and you're in my prayers. Now to your problem. I'm not sure it really is a problem. You're an adult man who wears a diaper. So what? What is the big deal? What is to be ashamed of? You have to remember the reason you're wearing that diaper and wear it with pride. I'd much rather be caught with my legs up in the air powdering my nutsack after wiping myself with a baby cloth than suffer the ultimate indignity of accidentally shitting my pants.

Sure maybe you weren't expecting the door to open and have someone see you there cleaning yourself, but you didn't shit yourself in front of everyone either. Think of how much more embarrassing that would have been and consider yourself lucky. Think about having to walk out of that bathroom with a pair of temporary pants you made entirely out of paper towels and toilet paper. You think people are talking about you changing yourself? You'd never live a pair of toilet paper pants down. And you've gotta make those toilet paper pants because you throw your shitty pants in the garbage. You can't salvage those. Don't do that to your local dry cleaner they probably have enough crap to deal with on a daily basis. People are ignorant so they're gonna mock. Let them mock. They don't know you. They don't know your struggles. They couldn't handle what you go through on a daily basis. You're stronger than them. Never forget it! Best of luck, Todd!

Send questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and always lock that door behind you!

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