The Top 5 Best Excuses For Not Returning Someone’s Call

"Who dis?"

These days there are only a few good excuses for not returning someone’s phone call. Gone are the days when you could claim you were out all day and forgot to check your messages. Your phone is on you at all times, you’re looking at it every five seconds and everyone knows it. So how do you make up a good excuse for when you ignore someone’s call? There aren’t many good options, but here are the top 5 things to say when you didn’t return someone’s call:

5. I was mugged.

This is a good excuse if you can produce some visible facial wounds. If you have a black eye the next time you see the person there’s a good chance they’ll buy it. This would rank much higher if it didn’t require you to hit yourself in the face with a pipe wrench.

"Sorry I couldn't call you. Samurais robbed me at samurai swordpoint."

4. I was at the movies and my phone died.

Using the movie excuse works pretty well, but you have to have seen a movie currently in theaters so you can answer any quiz questions the person throws at you if they don’t believe you.

"I was at a drive-in movie and we all know it's illegal to be on the phone in your car."

3. I was at a party and accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet.

This is very effective excuse as long as you bring your phone in a plastic bag full of rice. When you show them that phone in a bag of rice they’ll usually believe you because who would do that? Just make sure you take the battery out in case they decide to be smart and try calling your rice phone.

"I've got my phone in a bucket of dry rice at home. It could take months before I can talk to you again."

2. I was at a funeral.

The funeral excuse is always pretty effective, you just have to make sure to use it sparingly otherwise people start to think you’re the Angel of Death or something.

"Sorry I couldn't take your call I was at an ancient Hindu funeral."

1. I was at the hospital taking care of a loved one.

The ultimate excuse for not returning someone’s call. Nearly everyone will give you a pass if they think you have a loved one in the hospital. Of course not everyone can lie about this and sell it properly, it takes a really special person. This is a major league lie so you have to be a seasoned pro to do it right, but when you do boy does it work wonders.

"I was with my nana all day supporting her during her cast removal procedure."

Some people might say it’s wrong to lie about these things, but why? No one gets hurt. You lie to the person you’re ignoring to give them a good reason why you missed their call and you don’t have to talk to them. Everyone wins!