The Top 5 Worst Things To Do With A Newborn Baby

Give the baby a couple of days
before you start messing with it.

Childbirth is an amazing thing and when you see a baby being born a rush of emotions flows through your body. Suddenly your brain is filled with ideas on what to do at that moment. You have to be careful though because there are a lot of things you shouldn’t do with a newborn baby. There are some things that will get you kicked out of the hospital and maybe even arrested. Oddly enough, smacking it on the ass is totally appropriate. Here are the top 5 things you should refrain from doing to a baby right after it’s emerged from the tunnel of love:

5. Dance with it

You might get the urge to dance with a newborn baby, but their limbs are very fragile. You don’t want to risk dislocating a tiny shoulder by doing the Charleston with it.

4. Give it a raspberry

People love blowing raspberries on babies, but when it’s just come fresh out of the vagina you have to give it some time. First of all there’s probably still an umbilical cord there. That’s a sign you shouldn’t be blowing a raspberry when there’s an obstacle there.

3. Talk to it a lot

When a new person comes into this world it’s understandable that you’re going to want to engage it in a lot of conversation and try to get it to speak as soon as possible. That being said, a baby’s ears a little sensitive and they’ve just been through a majorly traumatic life event. The last thing they need is to hear about how your day was.

2. Hold it up like Rafiki from “The Lion King”

Newborn babies are very slippery so doing the whole Lion King thing is very dangerous. Also, there’s no real point to it. Even if you are on a cliff with a bunch of animals there, do you think they give a damn? They probably don’t even know what they’re looking at. It’s not worth the risk of dropping the kid and ruining its life before it’s even started.

1. Throw it in the air

Throwing a one or two year old in the air is socially acceptable, but not a newborn. Not only do you risk them slipping out of your grasp, but the shock of them being thrown can’t help their brain development.

When it comes to what to do with a newborn baby really all you should do is look at it. If you do any of the things I just listed you definitely risk legal action being filed against you especially if you don’t know the woman or the family.