Why You Should Never Tell People To "Get A Room"

No one needs to see that.

When two people start having sexual relations in public others will usually walk by and yell “Get a room!” or some will just stare and record it with their smartphones. I never understood this saying. Why should they get a room? The worst part is when it’s two homeless people having sex. You can’t tell them to “get a room”. They would probably love to get a room, but they can’t, that’s why they’re homeless. You have no idea what type of financial situation these people are in. If they have a car you should say “Go to the backseat of your car!” Without knowing people’s situations it’s difficult to direct them to other places.

Also, you have no power to command people where to go. Instead of saying “Get a room!” you could say “Get in a basement dungeon!” or “Go to Alabama!” and it would be just as valid to the people you’re yelling at. Usually they’re not going anywhere, they’re probably too high to even realize you’re there. No, the best solution is not to yell “Get a room!” but rather to just throw a big tarp over the people. That way they can continue their nasty love making in public under a giant sheet and everyone else can avoid looking at it quite easily. That’s why I always bring a giant disposable tarp with me wherever I go because I never know when I’m going to see two hobos engaged in the art of passion.