Dumbass Sayings: “Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness”

Have you ever seen Mario depressed?
It's because he's got all those
damn gold coins.

Sometimes people say “Money doesn’t buy happiness” or “Money can’t buy happiness”, but don’t tell that to a homeless person. Money might not ALWAYS buy happiness, but the last time I checked it can buy jet packs, chocolate factories, and high class prostitutes. Give those three things to someone and see if they aren’t feeling happy after a while. I think it’s almost impossible NOT to smile when you’re riding your own personal roller coaster on your private island full of midgets and big titted hookers. No one would be flying off their diving board into a swimming pool full of ice cream with a blank face.

Money can definitely buy happiness if its spent properly, like on chocolate factories and personal zombie butlers. If money didn’t buy happiness it wouldn’t be worth anything. There’d be no reason for anyone to want money at all. Unfortunately, that’s the exact purpose of money. Money was created to hold value and people value happiness. I think what the creator of this phrase meant to say is “You don’t have to pay for happiness.” That’s a saying I think we can all agree with.