Dumbass Sayings: “The World Is Your Oyster”

They say the world is beautiful,
not if it's an oyster.

The saying “The world is your oyster” is meant to be a positive, encouraging phrase because oysters contain pearls that can make you rich. What people don’t take into consideration is the fact that most oysters don’t contain pearls of any real value. Good pearls are valuable because they’re rare. If pearls were a real way of making money people would buy oysters instead of lottery tickets. They don’t do that though, because that’s ridiculous. In addition, oysters can contain very harmful bacteria that when consumed will make you incredibly ill. So yes, the world is your oyster, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. “The world is your oyster” really means that the world is a complete crapshoot that can, in very rare cases, result in wealth and happiness, but most of the time it’s just be a worthless piece of calcified stone filled with a disgusting mucusy piece of meat that if not properly prepared, can make you vomit and crap liquid relentlessly.