The Top 5 Things To Never Do To Someone In A Coma

Let people in comas have their peace.

When someone you know is in a coma you may be tempted to do strange things to them to try and snap them out of their slumber. Unfortunately, some people go too far with their tactics and wind up doing more harm than good and sometimes even ending up in jail. Here are the top 5 things you should never do to someone in a coma:

5. Dress them up in funny clothes.

This seems harmless enough, but there’s no real way it could actually help wake the person up. Dressing them up like a cowboy or a court jester would be merely for your own entertainment and that’s sort of selfish and wrong.

No one wants to wake up from a eight year coma, look in the mirror and see this.

4. Breastfeed them.

You might think that breast milk has special nutrients to help a coma patient’s brain heal and recover quickly, but there is no medical study to support these claims. Also, definitely don’t do this if you’re a man.

Whether you're breastfeeding them or they're breastfeeding you, male or female, breasts are off-limits when dealing with coma people.

3. Tie ropes to their limbs and control them like a marionette puppet.

If a loved one is in a coma you might want to see them back to normal so badly that you tie ropes to their arms and legs to make them seem awake again. The trouble is, unless you’re a trained puppeteer this will look more violent than fun. While the stimulus might arouse them from the coma, it’s not a recommended practice.

It may be tempting to take a few coma patients and put on a giant puppet show, but you need the families' permissions and you will likely not get that.

2. Make out with them.

We all know the tale of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White or whatever that was where a guy kisses a woman into waking up. It’s important to keep in mind those were cartoon movies from a long time ago. Times have changed. Hospital security will likely intervene and alert the police. Don’t make out with someone in a coma or do anything that could be considered rape. A random blink doesn’t pass as consent in most courts these days.

There's a fine line between a Sleeping Beauty kiss and a full-on violation of another person's rights.

1. Give them tattoos.

The ultimate worse thing to do to someone in a coma is to give them a bunch of tattoos. One might be okay if it was expressed in writing that the person wanted it, but you should never take it upon yourself to do elaborate full body tattoo work. Even a face tattoo is too much. What if they really do wake up? Do you want them blaming you for the rest of your life for tattooing them to look like a dragon? That will surely spoil the whole waking up from a coma thrill that they would have had if you just left their skin bare.

Reacclimating to life after a coma is tough enough without a giant Samoan facial tattoo.