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| People don't like when you smell their fart and go "Mmm... Garlicky!" |
Dear McFartnuggets: I really enjoy the smell of other people's farts. When someone farts around me it's like a little treat like smelling cooking bacon. Is that normal? -- Dave from Montreal
Dear Dave:
No, that's not normal. However, just because it's not normal doesn't mean it's bad. My momma used to always say you can tell who your soulmate is when they fart and it smells like roses to you. Since you experience that with everyone you encounter then that just means you're a really caring person who's friends with everybody. Personally, I'm repulsed by other people's farts and only find my own to be delicious. Coincidentally, most people consider me to be very selfish and inappropriate because I fire off my own farts around people who don't enjoy them nearly as much as I do.
Frankly, I wish more people were like you, Dave. If everyone loved the smell of everyone else's farts as much as we love our own then there'd never be a reason to hold in a fart. People could fart freely and happily whenever they wanted without fear of mockery. Instead of ruining a party, farts would make the party even better. Farts would bring people together and there'd be one less reason to hate people. Maybe there could even be world peace.
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