Dumbass Sayings: “I’m Speechless”

What? You've never seen
a grown man get freaky
with a breakfast pastry before?

When someone walks in on you pleasuring yourself intimately with a Toaster Strudel they run out of the room. A few minutes later you try to explain yourself to alleviate the tension and what do they say? They say “I’m speechless.” This is literally one of the dumbest things a person can say. No you’re not speechless because you just spoke and said “I’m speechless.” If you were truly “speechless” you would say nothing at all.  That’s what real speechlessness is. And don’t say “There are no words to explain how you feel about what you just saw” because that word is “Speechless”, but don’t bother even saying that. It's too late now. The bottom line is, if you’ve got nothing to say just keep your damn mouth shut. I’ll figure it out myself. You don’t need to spell this stuff out. Next time knock before you come into my room during the morning hours!