Dumbass Dog Owner Sayings: “Did You Do This?”

"Did you eat those campers, buddy?
Look at me!
Look at this bloody hellscape!
Did you do this?"

Whenever anyone with a dog finds something torn to shreds like a book or a shoe they always approach the dog and say “Did you do this?” It’s kind of like the reverse of when Steve Urkel used to say “Did I do that?” on the show “Family Matters.” You know the dog did it. Who the hell else would chew a shoe? You better hope to god it was the dog otherwise that means there’s either a wolverine hiding in your closet or some psycho homeless man has broken into your home and is leaving you little surprises before he finally comes for you in your sleep.

The only reason people confront their dog with a damaged vibrator or shoe or whatever, is because they want to see the look on the dog’s face. You can’t really punish a dog for what they’ve done. What are you going to do? Spray them in the face with a garden hose or hit them with a newspaper? No that’s not right. You can’t take away their allowance or ground them, that’s also messed up, dogs need their allowance. So basically you’re not going to punish the dog at all you just want to see how cute they are when they act guilty. Meanwhile the dog knows they can chew the hell out of whatever they want and all they’ll ever have to do is act sad later on and they can do it again whenever they want.