The Top 5 Things You Never See

Woman breastfeeding unicorn.
Pretty rare.

There are just certain things in this world that you never see. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, it just means they’re so rare you never see them. Bigfoot is a good example of this. However, unlike Bigfoot, certain things are so rare that they don’t even have a myth behind them. Here are the top 5 things you never see:

5. Pregnant giant

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a pregnant giant before. By giant I mean a woman above 6 foot 9 let’s say. Why is that? Is it because they’re so big that sperm have a difficult time reaching the egg? Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

4. Elderly Asian lesbians

Elderly lesbians are rare enough, but elderly Asian lesbians are super rare. I’ve never seen a pair of 90-year-old Chinese lesbians walking around cuddling. Maybe I’m in the wrong part of town.

3. Dwarf scuba diving

The problem with dwarfs scuba diving is they have to find an adequately sized scuba suit and scuba gear. This would most likely be children’s sized, but children aren’t supposed to go scuba diving, it’s too dangerous. To top it all off, most dwarven folk are not sized exactly like children. The proportions are different so wearing a kids’ scuba suit might not be the most comfortable thing to do.

2. Morbidly obese person skydiving

This one is rare for a reason. There must be a safety violation for letting a person above 400 lbs skydive. Surely there’s a risk for the parachutes to break or something. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe because a feather and a bowling ball fall at the same rate it’s totally fine for a super obese person to skydive. That being said you just don’t see it happening very often at all.

1. Blind people making out

When was the last time you saw two blind people sitting on a park bench making out? Sighted people do this all the time in public, wherever, they don’t give a damn. You’d think blind people of all people would not give a damn about making out in front of others, but for whatever reason it’s not a common sight.