4.22.2014

Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Illegal For A Blind Man To Touch My Ass Without Consent?”

If a blind man is reading the
pimples on your ass like Braille
then that's a problem.
Dear McFartnuggets: 
There’s this blind guy at work who touches my ass everyday. At first I thought he was sexually harrassing me, but then I realized that because he’s blind that’s how he sees. I’m a firm believer in the idea that you’re allowed to look, but not touch, except if you’re blind you have to touch so I don’t know what to think when this blind guy feels me. He’s not violent in any way. By the way his hands move I can tell he really is just looking with his hands. I never give him permission to do this. Is this illegal for him to touch my ass without my consent or is it okay? -- Regina from Evansville

Dear Regina:
It all depends on how it makes you feel. If you feel violated by this man then you have an obligation to speak up. You don’t know how many women’s asses he’s “looking” at. I can understand your unwillingness to give him a hard time because he’s blind, but the rules apply to everyone. Plus, sometimes looking can count as sexual harassment. If you’re made to feel uncomfortable at all then you should talk to H&R and discuss it with them. This might seem like one perk blind people get, but something seems weird about it. Let him look at as many asses as he wants outside work. In the workplace we deserve to have our buttocks unaccosted at all times.

Thanks for all your questions and keep sending them to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

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