Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Pray Out Loud?”

Molech can hear you just fine.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

Why do people bother praying out loud when God can obviously read their minds? -- Wanda from Walla Walla, Washington

Dear Wanda:

I think the easy answer to this question is that people like hearing the sound of their own voice. I would bet that any person who talks a lot and is religious prays out loud whenever they can. Some people like to even show off their praying skills. Praying becomes a competition of who can pray the best in a group of people. In a way I guess it is a competition considering how many people pray. God can’t grant ALL prayers, (if he did we’d all be trillionaires and money would be worthless) so he has to pick the best ones or the ones that showcase the best praying talent. If you want to impress God with your prayer you have to stand out and part of that involves speaking up. Anne Frank had to be silent when she prayed and eventually she was discovered and killed. Does that prove anything? I don’t know.

The more complicated answer to this question is maybe God can’t read people’s minds or doesn’t want to. Maybe he needs people to speak up which would explain why people pray out loud. If that’s the case maybe people should pray with bullhorns or with microphones through giant concert speakers. That seems a little ridiculous though. How loud is loud enough? There’s not really a sound on Earth that could be loud enough to hear on Jupiter let alone wherever the hell the lord is. I assume God has super hearing so prayer volume shouldn’t be an issue. As long as your argument is strong enough I’m sure you’ll get a listen. Thanks for the question, Wanda.

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