The Top 5 Things You Should NOT Trust The Gorton’s Fisherman With

Not so easy to trust when
he's wearing a potato sack.

Everyone tells you to “Trust the Gorton’s Fisherman” but what has he really done to deserve our trust? Trust has to be earned, Gorton’s Fisherman. You have to prove to be an honest person before someone can trust you. What has the Gorton’s Fisherman done? He puts fishsticks in a box. Of all the people you could trust, why an aging fictitious fisherman? You trust this guy and you’re asking for trouble. Here are the top 5 things you should never trust the Gorton’s Fisherman with:

5. Your wedding ring

It would be weird to see the Gorton’s Fisherman as a best man at a wedding. Does his signature yellow coat even have any pockets on it? It doesn’t appear to.

4. Your car

The man is a fisherman. Trust him with your boat MAYBE, but not your Honda Accord.

3. Your taxes

If you trust the Gorton’s Fisherman with doing your taxes, don’t be surprised when you’re audited by the IRS.

2. Babysitting your children

Just look at the dude. It’s a good rule of thumb to never let a man who isn’t related to you watch your kids. When that man has spent his life on the high seas alone on a boat, all the more reason not to call him when you want a night out with the wife.

And the number one thing you should never trust the Gorton’s Fisherman with is…

1. Your heart

The ocean is a cold, unforgiving place. You spend too many years out there and you forget how to love. All you love is the hunt for that next breaded fish fillet.