The Top 5 Reasons To NOT Shake Someone's Hand

How well can you really trust
another person's hand?

Shaking someone's hand is a fairly universal greeting in today's world. It's something people do without giving it much thought and that's for a good reason. When you really think about it there's a lot of gross things about holding a stranger's hand and shaking it. Think about all the things you do with your hand and then assume other people are doing the same things and not washing afterwards. Here are the top five reasons you should think twice about shaking anyone's hand:

5. Showering

Most people shower every morning and some people even wash their asses with their hand. Many cultures make a big deal about not shaking a person's hand with the hand you use to wash your ass with, but you never know who's adhering to those rules.

You never know what goes on in someone's shower. They might be fooling around with messy caulk.

4. Hand herpes

When someone says the word "herpes" you generally think oral or genital. The scary thing is you can pretty much get herpes anywhere on your body. The media hasn't made a huge deal about hand herpes yet, but it's real and it's out there.

One second it's on your hand the next you're touching your lip and have this crap on your face.

3. Peeing

It's a known fact that nearly no one washes their hands after they use a public bathroom unless they got shit on them. This basically means whenever you shake someone's hand you're getting their dick germs all over your hand. Then you touch your face without noticing and it's basically like someone touched your face with their penis. Your skin doesn't know the difference.

I like how they drew the pubes in there. Totally necessary.

2. Pooping

Worse than getting dick germs in your eye is getting crap germs because those can actually be deadly. You shake someone's hand without realizing they've got a speck of shit on their hand then you eat a Taco Bell breakfast waffle taco and next thing you know you've got e.coli and it wasn't from what you suspect!

Not enough people use the shower head bidet to spray their deathhole clean.

And the number one reason to never shake hands is...

1. Self pleasure

Hey look, we all pleasure ourselves from time to time. It's a natural thing. The only problem is good hygiene is not as common. Now regardless of whether a guy boils his hands afterward, it's still disturbing to shake someone's hand after they've molested the weasel. There's just something wrong about touching someone's personal sex toy, which is really all a hand is.

Who paints something like this?