Dumbass Sayings: “Stair Climbing”

Only alcoholics "climb" up stairs.

Somehow the act of walking up stairs was dubbed “Stair climbing.” That’s the official term for moving up stairs with your feet. Everyone who’s walked up stairs before knows that’s not an accurate term. When you’re walking upright up a staircase that’s not “Climbing.” When you’re drunk at the mall and your legs have given out on you and you’re pulling yourself up the escalator face down while vomiting, THAT is “Climbing.” Fortunately for us, that’s a rare occurrence usually only once a month, maybe every weekend during Summer. That’s real stair climbing.

So if walking up stairs is “Stair climbing” what’s crawling and literally climbing up stairs called? Is that just “Stair climbing” still? If that’s the case then I must be a champion stair climber! If you tell someone you climbed the stairs from the bottom to the top of the Empire State Building that should be incredibly impressive. If you say you walked those stairs then it sounds less impressive. I think that’s why this term is used. People want others to think they’re a “Climber.” They’re not. They’re just using stairs the way they were intended to be used. Next they’ll call standing on an escalator “Walking.”