Dumbass Sayings: “Flying Is Statistically Safer Than Driving”

If you're in a vehicle where a flock
of geese can kill you, that's not safe.

Whenever you’re freaking out on an airplane while it’s getting ready to take off people love to tell you “Ya know, statistically speaking, flying is WAY safer than driving.” Okay… That really doesn’t help me. All you’re doing is saying driving must be the most dangerous thing in the world then. Except, driving is much different than flying. When you’re driving, you’re in control of your own little car. If a cement truck comes out of nowhere you can at least attempt to dodge it. Having control over your own safety is a BIG DEAL. Plus, there’s the whole going 400 MPH slower and being on the ground thing. Flying is much scarier because you’re trusting your life to some people who may or may not be drunk or have mysterious plans to divert off course on a whim and disappear into the ocean.

If you’re going to compare flying to driving you have to compare it to being in a bus. Now, bus crashes happen all the time and lots of people die in those, but buses just seem safer. You’re basically in a giant tank that’s on ground level. There’s a reason John Madden chooses a bus over flying and hasn’t died in a fiery wreck yet. Driving just feels safer because there’s something inherently unnatural about being propelled through the heavens in a rocket. Cars on the other hand are basically just like motorized dual bicycles with a steel shell around it. To me, that seems a lot safer than being in an aluminum missile.