Dumbass Sayings: “The Eyes Are The Windows To The Soul”

Colored contact lenses must
be stained glass windows.

“The eyes are the windows to the soul” is arguably one of the craziest things that people say and believe. I have a serious problem with this saying for a few reasons. First off, it implies that blind people have no souls. Of course that’s not true. Blind people have just as much soul as anyone else and if you don’t believe me listen to Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles. If anything, blind people have more soul. Maybe it’s because it’s not leaking through their windows? No, that’s insane…

Eyes are not windows to anything. If eyes were windows you could wash them with Windex. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried this, but it HURTS. There’s ammonia in Windex. Ammonia works good to get stains off glass. It also destroys human eyes. It can even fuse contact lenses to your eyeballs and cause permanent damage. That doesn’t sound like a window to me.

Even figuratively this saying doesn’t make much sense. You can’t look in someone’s eyes and see their soul. If you can then you must be either a ghost or a superhero with magic powers because that’s nonsense. The only people who actually claim to be able to see souls are gypsy fortune tellers and psychopaths. That makes this saying completely invalid. You may as well say “The anus is the window to human suffering.” That kinda makes sense, but it’s a little too abstract to be a commonplace saying.