Dumbass Sayings: "If Walls Could Talk"

If walls could talk, would the
Great Wall of China be talking
all arrogant in Chinese?

Sometimes you'll hear two people who just had sex in the breakroom at work walk out of the break room and say "If walls could talk!" This is a really silly phrase that basically means "Good thing walls can't talk because then they'd be able to share all our secrets."

Thing is, even if walls could talk, what do you think is actually on their minds? There's a very good chance they're too dumb to even realize what's happening within them. They also can't see because they have no eyes and they can't hear because they have no ears. So really if walls could talk it would likely just be a low hum or some strange barely verbal grunt. It would be disturbing and we would have to pad all our walls in soundproof insulation to keep from hearing that bullcrap. So yeah it's a good thing walls can't talk, but not for any of the reasons you were thinking.