Dumbass Sayings: “An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away”

Did Dr. J
have a fear of apples?
Probably not.

This is a saying we’ve all heard growing up and we just accept it as true. Then we grow up and realize that apples aren’t particularly healthy. They’re not bad for you, but it’s not like they’re some kind of wonderfruit. This saying was clearly created by the Big Apple industry and I don’t mean New York City. They worked in collusion with the doctors of America as well as the teachers for some reason. Teachers always had an apple on their desk to link apples with education even though that makes no sense either. Apples has a pretty damn good PR empire for itself that’s been built over generations, but it’s all based on nonsense.

If anything, oranges are what will keep the doctor away. Oranges are packed with Vitamin C and citric acid that helps fight Scurvy. What the hell do apples do? The average apple has 3 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 10% of your daily vitamin C and 1% of your daily vitamin A, calcium, and iron. That’s not so great. An orange on the other hand has 4 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 160% of your daily vitamin C, and 8%, 7%, and 1% of your daily vitamin A, calcium, and iron respectively. Clearly oranges are more healthy for you.

And why do we need to keep doctors away? When has this ever been a problem? Was there a time when doctors used to come door-to-door to everyone’s houses on a daily basis to make sure everyone was in good health and if you showed him you were eating an apple he would refrain from giving you a prostate exam? That’s the only way this saying makes sense and even then it’s no longer applicable to modern life so stop saying it.