Dumbass Sayings: “Hit And Run”

No that's a Hit and RUNS!

Sometimes when you’re driving home in a rush because you’re about to shit your pants and you accidentally run over an old lady in the neighborhood and you continue to drive because you really don’t want to have an accident the police call that a “Hit and run.” Why do they call it “Hit and run”? You don’t RUN you DRIVE. If you actually run then you must have either hit a really fat person that broke your car with their body or you’re high on bath salts or meth and have no grasp on logic or reality. Look, I had to poop okay? What did you want me to do? I’ll take a “Hit and run” over a “Shit and run” any time. I think most of us would. Of course I’m upset about someone denting my car and normally I would stop and get their insurance information, but I was really going to crap my pants. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that can be? I’d rather get hit by a car than shit my pants in public. So yeah I went home and took a dump before I returned to give that person a piece of my mind, why should I be punished extra for that? It makes no sense. You know in baseball when there’s a man on first and he gets sent running with the pitch so the batter can make contact and move him over to second more easily? THAT’S a hit and run. Running someone over and not stopping is a “Hit and speed away while sweating profusely.” Let’s get the terminology straight.