Dumbass Sayings: “Girlfriend” and “Boyfriend”

You never know when you're
talking to a lesbian pimpette.

The terms “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” are really outdated in today’s world. Someone you’re dating is technically a “friend”, but it’s a different kind of friendship. It’s different enough that it should need more of a distinguisher than the gender of the person before the word “friend.” Plus, this is the 21st century and lots of people are living alternative lifestyles now. “Girlfriend” and “boyfriend” can be very confusing terms nowadays. When a woman says she’s going to dinner with her girlfriends, you don’t know maybe she’s talking about a night out with friends, maybe she’s a female pimp with a lot of lesbian lovers. There’s ambiguity there and that can lead to a lot of embarrassing misunderstandings.

The person you’re dating should be called a “Lifesucker” because that’s what they do. Then when you get married you can call them a “Life-Eater.” Let’s cut the ambiguity and start being more blunt with our language. People are confusing enough to decipher so let’s simplify the language here. If we’re all being open about ourselves then let’s really be open.