Ask McFartnuggets "Is Women's Intuition Real?"

When was the last time
you saw a man gazing
into a crystal ball?

Dear McFartnuggets: 

My wife is always talking about her "woman's intuition." She thinks whenever she gets a feeling about something she's always right. The weird thing is most of the time she is. Is a woman's intuition a real thing? -- Bernard from Louisville

Dear Bernard:

No, there's no such thing as a woman's intuition. There's no psychic ability afforded to you just because you have a vagina. A vagina isn't a third eye, if anything it's a second mouth. Women just have a tendency to worry a lot, it's part of being nurturing and protecting. A woman will say something like "You probably shouldn't smoke crack and go to that whorehouse." When you smoke too much and the whorehouse is busted by the cops does that mean she had some psychic precognition? No, it was just a good guess.

The reason a woman's intuition might seem real is because no one really notices when they're wrong. If a woman predicts something and it doesn't happen no one calls them out on it because they don't want to hurt her feelings and cause a fight. But any time a woman's right about something she's going to tell you about it. After a few years of this it might make it seem like she's a bonafide soothsayer, but she's really nothing more than a Miss Cleo.

Email me your questions at PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and thanks for a wonderful night.