Please do not tamper with the smokey chain thing. |
Dear McFartnuggets:
As you well know this past Easter was 4/20 which is Christmas for potheads so it was a very special occasion. In honor of this convergence of these two holidays I went to church before anyone else got there and replaced the incense in the thurible (that smokey urn thing on a chain) with dank nugs of weed. Then during mass the priest lit it and started waving it around and everyone got high as well and we all got the munchies and started downing communion wafers and Peeps. Then a bunch of us went to the Burger King of Kings and got fish sandwiches. By the time the priests sobered up they were really mad and promised to find whoever was responsible and make them confess. It was all in fun though yo. It was just games! Did I go too far with this? Should I turn myself in? Should I confess? -- Donna from Newport
Dear Donna:
Even though it was a fun prank and no one got hurt, you still technically broke the law by getting everyone high. I’m not sure about the legality of getting children stoned, but it can’t be good. That being said, think “What Would Jesus Do?” and I think you’ll arrive at your answer. I mean, Jesus probably wouldn’t have done what you did in the first place, or maybe he would have, I’m not sure. I didn’t know the guy so it’s hard to say what he would or wouldn’t have done in a situation playing out in 2014. Whatever you do I’m sure Jesus would forgive you.
Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and be careful with church pranks. Those don’t generally go over too well.
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