Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get My Roommates To Stop Teabagging Me In My Sleep?”

Here's a little trick
to keep people from treating
your face like a cup of hot water.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I live with three roommates and they’re all guys whose main goal in life seems to be pulling pranks. One of their favorite pranks is to wait til I fall asleep and then put their testicles on my face and take photos of this event. For some reason it never gets old to them. It’s really beginning to ruin my quality of life and I’ve been very depressed about it lately. It’s basically ruining my life. What can I do to stop this? -- Barry from Roanoake, Virginia

Dear Barry:

You could try explaining to them how you feel about being teabagged. Confront them honestly about your situation and how you don’t appreciate it and you really wish it would stop. OR you could pretend to be sleeping and then when they have their nuts right in front of your face them bite their nutsack hard. I guarantee it will be the LAST time they ever try that again. I mean they might call the cops and you might have to find a new place to live, but they will NEVER try that crap again believe me.

Write questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and good luck, Barry!