Ask McFartnuggets: “I Have To Fart And Pee At The Same Time! What Do I Do?!”

If you can, find a jug to catch the
pee and then just let the farts fly.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I’m in a very bad situation where I have to fart and I also have to pee! I need to let a little fart out except when I do I can feel the pee wants to come out too! I’m nowhere near a toilet and I need to alleviate this pressure before I lose complete control, fart, probably shit my pants and pee myself all at the same time! What do I do?! -- Tina from Madison, Wisconsin

Dear Tina:

Ahh yes, the dreaded pee-fart conundrum. This is a very tricky situation as you well know. When this is happening to you it’s important to get to a toilet and just let it all fly out just in case there is poo with those farts. If it’s just not an option then you need to carefully sit on a chair and lift a single asscheek to let a small amount of fart out. It doesn’t even need to be a loud audible fart, just let some of the gas slip out of your butt. It might not seem like you’re farting, but it will help reduce the pressure you’re feeling on your bladder. You’re really in a no-win situation, but the key is to release that pressure while still keeping a hold of the urine. I’m sorry I was a little late with this response. I hope you found a toilet in time…

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