4.04.2014

Ask McFartnuggets: "Can I Give My Teenage Child Up For Adoption?"

Orphanages aren't as fun as the
movie "Annie" makes them look.
Dear McFartnuggets:
Last week my teenage son brought a dead swordfish to school and got suspended for possession of a deadly weapon. If this was the first time he'd acted up I.would be able.to overlook it, but he's a consistent pain  I am getting sick and tired of his baloney. I've really had it up to here! Can I put him up.for adoption or is it too late? He's 17. -- Tamara from Wilmington, Virginia


Dear Tamara:
First off, when you type "I've had it up to here" I can't see where you're pointing. You could be pointing to your shin for all I know. If you're at shin level irritation I would just tough it out. If you're at eyeball level then maybe that's a problem. You actually can give up your child for adoption even when they're a teenager. You just have to keep in mind that the likelihood of another family signing them from free agency is very low. After years of being an orphan he's probably going to develope a pretty big grudge against you. Then you've got a crazy homeless guy out there who wants to kill you and it's your son. You should try avoiding that at all costs. If anything, check out some families for yourself. Visit relatives and close friends see if they want to take your son or if they know anyone who would. See if he can go overseas on a Peace Corps type mission to help others. He's out of your hair and instead of in an orphanage he's helping starving folks. Think of it as donating your kid to charity. That's probably better than just sending the poor bastard floating down a river in a basket. Good luck, Tamara!

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