Dumbass Sayings: “The Acorn Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree”

The universal symbol of the acorn.

When your friend’s son gets arrested for DUI manslaughter usually you elbow your friend and say something like “The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree!” This means that children are often like their parents. However, this saying doesn’t make much sense at all. First off, acorns DO fall far from a tree. If you’re an acorn, falling from a tree is like the equivalent of jumping off a skyscraper. The average acorn probably falls hundreds of body lengths when it drops from a tree. To an acorn that’s far and if you’re not an acorn, why do you care? A more understandable and accurate saying might be “The baby doesn’t fly too far out of the vagina.” That makes more sense because an acorn tree might be on a hill where the acorn can roll very far away after it falls, but a woman will never give birth off a cliff, usually the baby is right there in the mother’s arms.