4.01.2014

Dumbass Sayings: "The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth So Help You God"

Maybe if people who lied were
killed by a lady with a sword
holding a scale we wouldn't need
this oath nonsense.
In court when a witness is sworn in they're forced to promise to tell "The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help them god" otherwise known as "the truth". Do we really need fourteen words to say two? Hell, you could shorten it to just "truth?", have the witness grunt and that would be just as valid of an oath. Apparently some people think that the more words you add to an oath, the more likely you are to tell the truth. Does that make any sense? A person is going to tell the truth based on their own morals and the situation they’re faced with, it has nothing to do with hearing 50 synonyms for the word “truth” beforehand.

Also what’s that whole “So help you God” part? What does that even mean? God is going to help you tell the truth? Or “God help you if you lie!”? I think it means “God help you if you lie!” but how can God help you against his own wrath? Just say “Tell the truth or God will kill you.” Why not just be frank about it? I guess it sounds a little dumber when you put it flatly like that, but better to at least translate it to modern language than have people entirely dismiss it as old fashioned mumbo jumbo talk.

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