Ask McFartnuggets: “If We Are Made in God’s Image Why Are There So Many Ugly People?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I’ve heard people tell me that all human beings are made in God’s image, but if that’s true then why are there so many buttugly people walking around? Beautiful people are so much more rare than ugly people. That’s why being beautiful is valued because most people aren’t. Why are there so many people with weird out of proportion faces that look like Picasso babies? Why are there so many morbidly obese people? You’re trying to tell me that when you see a double chinned lady with a turkey neck, covered in moles with a fupa that’s what God looks like? That can’t be what God looks like! God can’t be fat and ugly can he? That doesn’t sound very godlike to me! Are ugly people proof that everything people say about God is a lie? Anytime you look at people you’re basically looking at gods? Sorry, I don’t buy that! -- Naomi from Red Bank, New Jersey

Dear Naomi:
WHOA WHOA WHOOOOOOAAAAA! That’s completely uncalled for. First off, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe what you described actually is what god looks like. If it is then being “fat and ugly” would automatically be considered beautiful. We would change the definition of beauty before we change the definition of god. If god does exist then clearly what he or she says goes. I don’t think you want to be one of the people who thinks god looks ugly. I think you need to reconsider your definition of beauty. All life is beautiful and the sooner you realize that the more you’ll be able to enjoy and appreciate this world.

I'm pretty sure god doesn't shave.

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