Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Name My Daughter Siri?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I’m about to have a baby girl in two months and we still haven’t decided on a name. I want to name her Siri, but my husband says that’s a bad idea. Why is it a bad idea to name my baby Siri? Isn’t it a beautiful name? To me it is very beautiful. It’s simple, yet elegant. -- Melinda from Walla Walla, Washington

Dear Melinda:
While Siri is a pretty name, it was basically ruined by Apple. Apple of course uses the name Siri for its intelligent personal assistance and knowledge navigator. This would mean that by naming your child Siri you’re basically dooming your child to be bombarded with joking questions all the time. Other kids will constantly be asking her “Siri, what’s 0 divided by 0?” or “Siri, what time is the new Star Wars movie playing?” It might be fun for a few times, but after awhile I’m guessing that would grow very old. The worst part of it is she couldn’t shorten the name to something less embarrassing like most people do with shameful given names. She could only call herself Sir or Si which would be very confusing to Spanish people. Also, because it’s from Apple you can’t just assume it’s a passing fad like naming your kid Microsoft Zune or Bing. Siri will be around for a very long time which means your child will likely never escape these issues. Even if you’re from Denmark, Norway, or Sweden where Siri is a shortened version of the name Sigrid which means “beautiful victory,” you’ll likely face the same issues. If that’s the case, just name the girl Sigrid and let her choose if she wants to be called Siri or not. She probably won’t.

People will be waiting in lines around the block to make fun of your kid.

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