8.12.2015

Dumbass Song Lyrics: “I Can’t Feel My Face When I’m With You”

The singer The Weeknd has a song called “Can’t Feel My Face” in which he says “I can’t feel my face when I’m with you, but I love it.” I don’t know why he sounds so happy about this, facial numbness is a very common symptom of an oncoming stroke. Judging by the way he spells his name I might suspect he’s already had a stroke or two. Cerebrovascular brain attacks are very serious business and they’re not to be sung about. If you’re ever with a woman and you suddenly lose complete feeling in your face then you need to get to a doctor ASAP. If you’ve been drinking a lot then that’s one thing that can also cause facial numbness. However, if that’s the case then you can’t feel your face because of alcohol, not because of a woman. At that point, the lyrics of the song are completely inaccurate and meaningless. So which is it? Are you not able to feel your face because you’ve been drinking (which has nothing to do with the “you” in the song, and therefore your feelings of elation are more directly linked to alcohol intoxication)? Or are you experiencing the early onset of Cerebral infarction? Which is it The Weeknd?


Also I’m curious to know who The Weeknd supports in the upcoming 2016 U.S. Presidential race. It would be fun if he was a supporter of Bernie Sanders that way he could do fundraisers at Sanders’ home and we could see a real life “Weeknd at Bernies.”

"Hey doc, why does it smell like cottage cheese in here?"

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