Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Football Terms So Gay?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Have you ever noticed how gay some football terms sound? For a sport considered so manly you can’t watch a game without hearing the announcer say “Look at how the D just busted through coming right in the QBs face to get that sack!”, “The defensive end’s mouth was watering when he saw that sack!” or “Their tight end is a great deep receiver and there’s plenty of balls to go around!” Why is football so gay or is it a coincidence? -- Regina from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Dear Regina:
The thing is, there are genital related phrases and words anywhere in life. If you’re looking for them then yeah you’re probably going to find them. Just because there are terms in a sport that relate to genitals doesn’t inherently make them gay. Badminton has the “shuttlecock” is that gay? Alright, that’s a bad example. The fact is, football is usually played between men is where the gay aspect comes in. If you were watching women play football you probably wouldn’t be thinking the same thing when an announcer mentioned a big sack or a tight end getting hammered by the D. Well, maybe you would, but it wouldn’t be gay then would it? Obviously doesn’t help football that there’s terms like “sack” and “tight end”, but all in all, football is no more gayer than baseball or rhythmic gymnastics. If you’re noticing gay things it’s only because you’re the one subconsciously pointing it out which is more of your own issue than it is football’s issue. Just grow up, it’s a sport where a man frequently puts his hands under another man’s crotch and then a bunch of other men try to jump on him, there’s nothing gay about it.

If women played football these terms wouldn't seem gay. Even if they did, few would be watching.

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