Dumbass Sayings: “Enjoy Your Meal!”

When you go out to eat at a restaurant you’re seated and given a menu by a server. The server then takes your order, brings the food from the kitchen to your table, and before they leave they say “Enjoy your meal!” This is supposed to be a nice polite thing to say, but look, don’t tell me what to do. If it tastes good then you bet I will enjoy it regardless of what you just said. However, if it doesn’t taste good then I will not enjoy it no matter how nicely you told me to! I’m not going to just blindly agree to enjoy something before I taste it. There’s a reason people don’t say “Enjoy!” before giving oral sex. If it’s something you will surely enjoy then there’s really no logical purpose in giving that command. People say “Enjoy your meal!” in a way that means “I hope you enjoy your meal!” which implies an uncertainty. Uncertainty is not something I want to feel before I take a bite of food that was prepared by an overworked stranger in a low paying job. Restaurants should be confident enough in their food that they can treat it like they’re giving someone oral sex. Just place the plate in front of a person, let them see and smell it and they’ll know they will enjoy the meal. You don’t need to say shit. Don’t ruin the moment the way someone saying “Enjoy!” would kind of feel awkward before a blow job. Of course it’s not bad enough to make it a negative experience if everything else is right, it’s just unnecessary and displays a lack of confidence.

"Enjoy your meal."
"Okay, I'll try!"

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