Dumbass Sayings: “Nitpicking”

Sometimes people meet a person they met on Craigslist and say things like “Now I might just be nitpicking here, but you have a penis...” I don’t get why people have to apologize for “nitpicking.” Nitpicking is supposed to infer an unnecessary, extra cautious act, but it’s really not. If you’re covered in nits then you better damn well be picking them off. That’s basic animal hygiene. Saying “I’m just nitpicking here” is like saying “I’m just washing my balls here.” You should be doing that at least once a day. If you’ve got nits on you, you need to get them off before they start burrowing under your skin and laying eggs. So if you’re trying to say “I don’t want to nitpick” just say “I don’t want to be an annoying jackass” because that’s a little more accurate a description of what you’re doing. Literally nitpicking is understandable and something that animals appreciate especially if another chimp is picking the nits off them as a sign of social bonding. Figuratively nitpicking on the other hand, serves no purpose and is usually just a result of you being a spoiled douche who needs everything to be perfect.

Why nitpick? Just leave these crawling all over your body.

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